Mother

A figure I've always wanted
but never had.

Kind, Gentle and loving.
Strong, yet meek.
Loving unconditionally
and supporting

Someone I've always wanted
but never knew ...
a Mother. 

Guilt

Sacred promises
Twilight whispers.
The moon stares knowingly
through the darkened window
and whispers menacingly.
The stars eyes
pierce my soul and
my sorrow increases
as I try to cover what I've done.

Cheek

Sweet words
Soft breaths
You possess my heart
You've captured my soul.
Peace fills me with a
Radiant light like the sun.
Love between us -
Needn't be professed.
It's known,
Clearly known.
Soft hands,
tender touches.
Chills encircle me,
like the wind.
You caress my face
My cheek is soft,
you say.
Brown eyes
filled with knowledge
filled with wisdom.
Distance, yet caring,
kind and searching.
Hold my hand
Hold my heart
Never let me go.

*Published in L'Esprit  Koyaanisqatsi  Spring 1993

Too Much

To much of me inside
Too much of me out
Too much of me there
Too much of me here
Too much me happy
Too much of me sad
Too much of me loves
Too much of me hates

I pull inside -
only here cease feelings
and for once, maybe too little.

Letting Go

Together -
Time Gone By.
Smiles -
Laughter, sparkling eyes.

Time, like the wind,
changes it's surroundings.
Feelings once felt,
drifting apart.
Spaces between us grow.

She's taken your heart -
Captured your sould.

Love her-
Stay withher.
My heart will mend.

Gone

Walking out of pain --
into stress.
Tension, yelling,
HELL.
One I love,
loves me not.
Those who should love me --
Want me dead.

Falling deeper -
deeper into Shadowed Darkness.
Peace swarms around me like warm water
and I feel her comforting arms cradle me.

Someone loves you,
she whispers -
Closing my eyes
I see her beckoning hands and longing eyes.

All of my pain swims peacefully,
quietly away.
All of the tension -- relaxes

All is well now -
I am gone ... forever.

Shadows

Alone

in my somber room.

I welcomed you home 

to the depths of darkness. 

The wick on the candle

smoldered silently

As I felt you slip quietly

into the shadows. 

Once strangers to me - 

I was frightened, 

yet full of a tingling sense

of anticipation and adventure. 

There I was in a world

I thought was my own. 

Now to share it. 

Curiosity - 

Why had you come?

Quietly I whispered to you - 

Only the flame flickered 

and danced on melted wax. 

You visited --

We became friends.

Daughter

Anger and hatred,
festering inside.
Disloyalty,
no respect.
Once I loved you,
feelings returned.
Now eaten,
now disintegrated,
now forgotten.
Who is your daughter?
What is your daughter?
No longer cared for
Sorrow
Sadness
Who you once loved
No longer exists.

Rain

I sit here alone and watch shadows dance gracefully along my walls.
As rain drips heavily into deep dark puddles of itself.

The clouds roar with pleasure and lightening brightens the sleeping world.

Crystal balls of water dance on warm, steaming pavement
and laugh.

Small, innocent giggles can be heard from my window seat
as steams of personality drip from the panes.
Cuddled in a warm blanket the cold grows inside me, I shiver with loneliness.
The world brightens and laughter is audible.
"Be not lonely" they say,
"Join us, laugh with us, dance with us".
My fingertips touch the cold damn glass
to say goodbye to people I'll never know. 

Broken promise

His dark shadow arms reached out to touch her, to hold her.
She was unaware of his cold, lonely presence.
Alone as she cried,she looked at the deep markings om his grave.
He promised before he left her he would return when the time was right,
and then they would be together, forever.
She somehow trusted him and knew thathe would be back.
The time had come, he had returned; a promise to be fulfilled.
He whispered, "I LOVE YOU", but to her it was only the soft spring breeze flowing freely past her ears.
He watched intently as she took the shiny blade, the blade he had used, to her wrist.
Her frail body shook as she cried.
The blade grew rusty after she dropped it, eventually covered by the flowers she brought him every week.
The promise was forgotten, the time never came.
The soft spring breeze covered the sound of his mourning voice and lonesome cries.
Her life had gone on, without him. 

Funeral

Waning faces
Blackened souls.
Expressionless hands,
folded, silent.
Hallowed feet
march slowly on,
Echoing ominously
on hallowed ground.
Dejection and sorrorw.
Mourning voices
carry no tune
as the casket lid
is slowly closed.