Maybe Someday I'll Remember to Forget - CJB

To Kim,
I wrote this for you last night when I couldn't sleep.
Maybe someday I'll remember to forget.
Maybe someday I'll remember to forget...
The way your soft silk lips were like a casket lining,
So inviting.
The way your eyes drank me in,
into the pools of your soul.
How your beauty sang to me,
Carried me away with your breaths and sighs,
Angels screamed,
In those early morning dawns,
When I promised you my dying days.
Maybe someday I'll remember to forget...
The way you disappeared without ever being there,
Like a dew drop in the morning sun.
The way we traded boxes of words and books of sorrows.
You needed me more than you loved me,
And now I visit you only in the sweet sleep and unconsciousness.
After climbing into an empty bed,
and writing all things better not said.
just a hopeless dream consumer.
Try to forge a new soul in the fires of love and pain,
A prayer on a page for broken love and a goodbye.
Trying to figure who was right and who was wrong,
It's hard to say you love someone
when you are driving with breaks on.
Just waiting for the day I can hold onto love,
Hold onto it for a million rainy days.
Hold onto a guiding star.
One's true love is one's first love,
And one's last love.
Love itself.
Luv C.J.
25 October, 1996

Rhythm

Love is not a
Conquest,
but a communion.
The steady rhythm of two beings
becoming One.
Hearts pounding next to one another -
Feeling secrets
and speaking a silent language -
no one should know ...

Mother

A figure I've always wanted
but never had.

Kind, Gentle and loving.
Strong, yet meek.
Loving unconditionally
and supporting

Someone I've always wanted
but never knew ...
a Mother. 

Guilt

Sacred promises
Twilight whispers.
The moon stares knowingly
through the darkened window
and whispers menacingly.
The stars eyes
pierce my soul and
my sorrow increases
as I try to cover what I've done.

Cheek

Sweet words
Soft breaths
You possess my heart
You've captured my soul.
Peace fills me with a
Radiant light like the sun.
Love between us -
Needn't be professed.
It's known,
Clearly known.
Soft hands,
tender touches.
Chills encircle me,
like the wind.
You caress my face
My cheek is soft,
you say.
Brown eyes
filled with knowledge
filled with wisdom.
Distance, yet caring,
kind and searching.
Hold my hand
Hold my heart
Never let me go.

*Published in L'Esprit  Koyaanisqatsi  Spring 1993

Too Much

To much of me inside
Too much of me out
Too much of me there
Too much of me here
Too much me happy
Too much of me sad
Too much of me loves
Too much of me hates

I pull inside -
only here cease feelings
and for once, maybe too little.

Letting Go

Together -
Time Gone By.
Smiles -
Laughter, sparkling eyes.

Time, like the wind,
changes it's surroundings.
Feelings once felt,
drifting apart.
Spaces between us grow.

She's taken your heart -
Captured your sould.

Love her-
Stay withher.
My heart will mend.