Wednesday, April 4, 2007

AGONY

I know my eyes are open
So why can’t I see?
I can see the crimson blood
Is it coming from me?
I feel the breath pass into my lungs,
So why can’t I breathe?
Although I am spotless and clean
I feel dirty with disease.
I hear them say “Mommy”
But I cannot respond
I had a heart beat once,
But now it is gone.

I look in the mirror
At the face that I see
Who is that woman?
She used to be me.
She’s lost all her strength
She can’t even blink
I just stare at her blood
Dripping into the sink.
Her eyes have gone dark
They’re listless and dead
She stares off at nothing
Just looks straight ahead.
I see her tears falling
But I can’t remember why
What in the world would make
This beautiful woman cry?

The blood, it has subsided
The trickle finally died.
In a flood of pain I remember
Why that woman sat and cried.
I grasp my chest in agony
And start to suffocate
What kind of hell for us
Did this man I love create?
I lie there naked, bleeding
On the bathroom floor
I picture him with her
That filthy little whore.
The pain it overwhelms me
I can’t even stand
I take my wedding ring
Finally off my hand.


In the distance I hear knocking
What can that noise be?
It’s my little babies
They say that they need me.
I muster all my strength
And silently I pray
I stand and I breathe
I can’t die today.
I open the door
And step into the light
I fight back my tears
With all of my might
In an explosion
I am grabbed from each side
The pain in my soul
I successfully hide.
One baby needs me,
He just needs a hug
The other just spilled her milk
All over the rug
The oldest one can’t remember
How HAPPY is spelled.
In a rush it gone,
The pain is dispelled.
Their love is so angelic
I smile at my kids.
Lets get back to life
And finding sippy lids.

I forgot about the loneliness
I forgot about the pain
Until I laid alone again
To listen to the rain.
I wanted him here
I miss him so bad
But he never really knew
What a great family he had.
I forgot about the lady
With the lifeless eyes
That died on the floor
Because of his lies.
My baby just gave me
A kiss on my cheek
Her eyes are so innocent
So soft and so meek.
I will forget him
I will forget his betrayal
But today I am thankful
My kids rescued me from Hell.

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